


Stiff as a Statue

by Banana Boy (imbetterlive)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Brief Bottom Erwin Smith, Inanimate Object Porn, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-05-03 13:57:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5293727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imbetterlive/pseuds/Banana%20Boy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Levi has sex with his mother's ancient Greek statue.</p><p>Seriously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> I have... absolutely no excuse for this.
> 
> Don't have sex with your mother's Greek statue unless you have a condom, kids.

Levi's mother is pretentious.

He knows it, she knows it, everyone knows it.

It's not necessarily a bad thing, either. She doesn't rub it in people's faces. She's not the kind of pretentious where she wears fur coats and diamond bracelets and walks around like she owns every room she enters. She's more of the history buff sort of pretentious, in which her (and in turn, Levi's) entire house was filled with old paintings and clothing and artifacts of every time. It was not uncommon for Levi to return from school to find movers bringing in yet another african vase or japanese houseplant, yadda yadda yadda.

So when he got home at around four and saw a large truck in front of his house with two or three workers getting back into it, he wasn't concerned. He figured that it was just another one of his mother's obsessions coming into play in their house life. His stepfather couldn't tell her no, either, so he just went along with it as Levi did.

However, when he stepped into his living room and headed down the hallway to get to his bedroom, he stopped cold.

Now _this_ was something new.

A statue, made of marble, in a sitting position. A chair was carved beneath it. It, or rather, he, had a handsome face. It was a man, with hair parted to the right of his forehead and swept over both ways. Whoever he was, he was attractive, Levi had to admit, with a strong jawline and broad shoulders and a stern mouth. Even he had to admit the carving was incredibly accurate- he could even make out large eyebrows above the man's eyes.

That wasn't the problem. No, the problem was that the statue had a cock.

An _incredibly erect cock_.

The man was naked, sitting upon a chair, his erect (and large, Levi had to admit) cock curving proudly up towards his stomach. Of course, being the superbly homosexual teenager he was, Levi took a moment to admire just how pretty said cock was. It was thick, long. Pretty enormous, actually. Looked almost as thick as Levi's wrist.

Surely he wouldn't have minded it in any other scenario. But such an obscene statue in the middle of his hallway? What the hell was he supposed to think about that? Was his mother some sort of closeted pervert?

Knowing her, this was probably a metaphor for existentiality and life and learning to accept yourself. Levi really wouldn't put it past her. The statue was almost unsettling, really, with how realistic it looked, never mind the large motherfucking penis sticking up from his lap. There were even balls, too, cradled underneath, and Levi didn't dare check for an asshole.

Instead he tugged his jacket off and tossed it into the statue's lap to cover the cock (he could admire a nice cock, and maybe he was admiring this one a little too much) and then headed into his bedroom and shut the door.

 

He brought it up later that afternoon at dinner. He was swallowing a large mouthful of mashed potatoes, sitting across the table from his stepfather and mother, and when he leaned back a little he could see the statue down the hall.

"What's up with your naked guy in our hallway, mom?" He asked, and she looked up, pushing her glasses up on her nose.

"That? Oh." She smiled. "That's Erwin. He's from Ancient Greece, he was discovered only a few weeks ago. Cost me a pretty penny, too. Isn't he gorgeous?"

Erwin. Levi paused for a moment. That name didn't sound very Greek, but he knew he'd only offend his mother if he mentioned it. She was correct, too. He was a very attractive man. And Jesus, that cock-

He shook his head. This was not appropriate to be thinking about at the dinner table.

"Yeah, sure. But. Mom, he's got a dick."

She clicked her tongue. 

"Language, Levi. It's a work of art, it's so very... human." She began to ramble about the eroticized nature of human greed and Levi tuned her out, stuffing his mouth full of mashed potatoes.

 

So Erwin was his name, hm? Erwin. Seemed almost fitting. Later that night, when his parents were fast asleep and every light except the one in his bedroom was out, he found himself standing in front of the statue, watching it. It wouldn't exactly be easy to explain to his friends when they came over, but he found himself not actually minding it too much. It was harmless, really, and who was he to deny a handsome face and pretty cock to look at?

He ignored it, for the most part. The next few days he learned to get used to it, and barely spared it a second glance when he passed it to head out the door for school.

His parents were away that Friday night at a party of some sort, one Levi was too young to attend due to the alcohol that would be there. He, like any other teenage boy, spent the free time masturbating.

He was two fingers deep in his ass, the other hand wrapped around his cock, some porno that he'd happened upon with the search terms 'daddy' and 'twink' playing on his laptop screen. It just wasn't good enough, his fingers, they couldn't reach inside of him very far and he got frustrated incredibly quickly. He was so horny that even the cucumber in his fridge was starting to sound like a good idea.

Of course he didn't have a dildo. His mother liked to look through his room when she lost things, which was very often, and he couldn't deal with that sort of embarrassment if she'd found a sex toy he'd purchased. 

Annoyed, he stood, naked from the waist down with a shirt and hoodie on his top half, heading into the hallway. He was honest-to-god on his way to the kitchen to retrieve the cucumber in the hopes of reaching some semblance of sexual satisfaction when something caught his eye.

Shiny marble sitting right beside his bedroom door. Marble that conveniently had... a cock.

He couldn't. There was no way in hell. That was absolutely ridiculous to think about, even. It was a damned statue, for Christ's sake! 

But...

That thick cock looked more and more appealing. And its face was so handsome. Levi just couldn't help himself.

He went into his bedroom and scooped up a palmful of petroleum jelly, then returned to the statue, watching it almost nervously, as if it were a lover rather than a hunk of stone. He touched that large cock, rubbed it with the slick ointment until it shone even more than it had before, and climbed into the statue's large lap.

Erwin. Erwin's lap.

He couldn't believe he was doing this. His pulse thrummed with nervous anticipation and he held onto the broad shoulders the statue offered, wiggling down until he was straddling it. He could feel the cold tip of that cock rubbing against the cleft of his ass.

He lowered himself down very, very slowly. It was more painful than he'd realized, but then again, he'd never had anything more than three fingers up his ass and that was a far cry from the large cock breaching his sphincter at the current moment.

He got an inch or two down and stopped. It was so goddamn _thick_ , it was already satisfying him more than he'd ever done for himself and not even a quarter of it was in him yet.

He slid down slowly, slowly, slowly, pressing his burning hot cheek to the cold marble neck, and after what seemed like hours he was finally seated completely in its lap. He let out a long, heavy breath, fingers clutching tightly to those muscled biceps carved delicately from stone.

Jesus Christ. It was reaching places inside of him he didn't even know existed. His hand moved down to give his own cock a few firm strokes, then returned to Erwin's bicep, sliding up to grip at his slippery broad shoulder.

He worked himself up once, then dropped back down, and grunted. He'd expected it to be cold, sharp, painful, but it felt almost warm inside of him. He attributed it to the heat of his insides. It took a moment for him to get a rhythm going, but once he did he began to bounce in the statue's- Erwin's- lap, one arm hooking around its neck and the other clutching its forearm. He rested his face in the crook of its neck, panting and moaning and grunting into the cool marble there.

It felt good. It felt so fucking good. He'd never had anything phallus-shaped inside of himself before and he never knew it could be so fucking _good_. He never wanted to stop. However, his orgasm approached him quickly and he let out a moan that echoed around the house, working himself up and down that thick marble cock with both feet planted firmly to the floor on either side of its lap, his hold on the statue tightening so that he was pulled chest-to-chest with it when he came in thick stripes over its stomach.

Once his orgasm subsided he felt incredibly guilty. This was his mother's statue, for fuck's sake, she'd probably spent an enormous amount of money on it, and here he was defiling it like some sort of sex-crazed incubus. He wiped it down carefully and dried it, too guilty to even look at its face as he limped back to his bedroom and closed his laptop and went to bed. He just wanted to forget it had ever happened.

 

Apparently that wasn't going to happen, because he woke with his boxers wet from the hottest wet dream he'd had maybe ever, that involved none other than Erwin the Statue himself. He laid in bed for a long time afterwards, wondering just how fucked he was.

When he made it out of his bedroom to get breakfast, his eyes caught the statue once more. It was almost pathetic how he looked away, then back again, and scurried down the hall a moment later after just barely suppressing his urge to greet it. It was like he was a schoolgirl with a crush, which was just fucking stupid, because Erwin was a _statue_ and having sex with it once was bad enough. That knowledge, however, didn't stop Levi from glancing at it every now and then just to remind himself of what he'd done. When he realized that his mother and stepfather weren't going to find out, the guilt passed and changed into something like a elated naughty giddiness.

Which wasn't something he'd ever thought he'd feel. 

 

That night, he decided it was inevitable. When his cock began to swell like it did most nights (almost like clockwork, really) he didn't spare any time in ensuring his parents were asleep and their bedroom door was firmly shut before heading back to the statue. 

It was undoubtedly more risky doing it here, when there was a possibility of being caught, so he didn't dare undress fully. He wore loose sweatpants, no boxers, and this time slipped into the statue's lap backwards so he was facing down the hallway. This way it would be easy to see his parents' bedroom door open. He tugged down the hem of his sweatpants, stroked Erwin's marble cock with a hand full of petroleum jelly a few times, then adjusted himself and slid down.

He didn't want to make too much noise this time, and covered his mouth as he was split wide by Erwin's cold marble cock, staying where he was once he was down all the way. His legs hung limply off of Erwin's lap and he slid a hand into the front of his sweatpants, content to just jack himself off whilst Erwin was inside of him.

That's exactly what he did, and when he finished he let himself shoot into his sweatpants and stain the front dark, biting down on his thumb to restrain himself from making any noises. He pulled off slow, slow, relishing the slick sounds of Erwin slipping out of him.

Once his sweatpants were back up he almost felt a little bad. It was crazy, really fucking insane, but he felt like the statue hadn't finished, and so it needed some reciprocation. He felt badly that he'd not moved at all and just used it for his own pleasure.

So Levi crouched down in the middle of the night and began to jack off an ancient Greek marble statue with one hand, twisting his wrist and rubbing his fingers over the head just like he would have done for himself. He rested his forehead against one of Erwin's knees and felt almost serene. The soft slicking noises of his hand went on and on and on until his wrist got tired and he finally stopped.

He cleaned Erwin with a wet washcloth from the bathroom and had to stop himself from pressing a kiss to the statue's lips once he was done. This was ridiculous, he told himself. He was absolutely fucking insane. Using a statue as a sex toy was bad enough, but jacking it off? Wanting to kiss it? Was he really so sexually depraved that he was developing _feelings_ for a fucking inanimate object?

 

He tried his best to lay off of Erwin the next week or so. It was getting weird (as if it wasn't already). However, nine days later when he arrived from school back into his home, his mother was running around, flustered.

"Mom? What's wrong?" He asked, dropping his bag on the kitchen floor and opening the fridge to grab a can of soda. "You look freaked out."

"Your stepfather is having a business meeting here at the house, and I need to get a few things out of the way," she explained, pulling a dusty old vase from the counter and tucking it underneath the sink. Levi's mind immediately went to the marble statue sitting beside his bedroom.

"What about Er- What about the statue?" He asked, trying to feign nonchalance. 

"Hm? Oh, goodness." His mother paused. "I'd not even thought about it. Levi, will you be a dear and please let me move the statue into your room? Just for a night? Please, darling, I really need the house to be clean for your stepfather's meeting."

Levi was much too quick to agree.


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the positive feedback.
> 
> Also thanks to Emily for encouraging this piece of trash

Erwin the statue was moved into Levi's room not long after he agreed for his mother to do so. It took his stepfather and mother and the help of two neighbors to move the large thing ion the corner of his bedroom beside his bed, and when it was finally settled in he was left alone with it.

There was silence. Levi wasn't talking, and the statue obviously couldn't.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you," he said finally. God, he really was crazy, wasn't he? Talking to a statue. 

"It's just," he continued. "I don't know. I feel weird about all of this, you know?"

Looking into Erwin's carved marble eyes he almost felt as though he was being listened to.

"You didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't you," he assured the statue, patting its bare leg. "You were.. great. You _are_ great. I just, I don't know if this is right or not. And I'm scared to be caught." While he explained he kept his hand resting gently on Erwin's leg, feeling like he'd offended the inanimate object somehow by not using it as a sex toy recently.

Erwin's thin marble lips were looking more and more tantalizing. Certainly it couldn't hurt, could it? His bedroom door was locked and the two of them were alone.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked, almost as if he were expecting some form of response. He got none, and moved forward anyway, leaning into Erwin's lap and pressing a small kiss to his lips.

He couldn't help himself and a few seconds later there he was, making out with a marble statue, getting harder and harder in his jeans. He undid them, reaching behind himself and gripping at Erwin's cock, heart racing and blood pounding in his ears. 

"Already hard, huh?" He murmured, though that was stupid, Erwin was always hard. He didn't really mind, though, and tugged his pants off, hard as a rock in his boxers.

It didn't take long for him to get petroleum jelly from his bathroom, but he stopped before scooping some into his hand. Maybe to make it up to Erwin, he should do something a little... extra.

He went back over to the statue, got on his knees, and took the large marble cock in one hand, pressing his lips carefully to the tip. He'd never done this before and wasn't sure how, but was grateful Erwin was marble so he didn't have to worry about his teeth grazing him.

He took the tip in first, sucked, and quickly became more comfortable, bobbing his head up and down, leaking in his boxers at the very feeling of the cold marble touching the back of his throat. One hand cupped Erwin's intricately carved marble balls and rubbed them, massaged them as best he could as he sucked him off.

He pulled off a few minutes later when he could wait no longer and shed his boxers, smearing the petroleum jelly over Erwin's cock and attaching his soft lips to the cold marble ones once again, licking at the hard material and wishing the statue had come with an open mouth. Christ, he would love to push his cock between those thin, firm lips, come down Erwin's throat...

He'd sunk down on him fast and rode him in a frenzy, licking and biting at Erwin's marble ear and neck and jawline, whining high in his throat when the cock hit all the right spots inside of him.

"Fuck yes, Erwin, oh, Christ," he panted out, toes curling, pushing himself up and slamming down harder. "Yeah, shit, just like that. Just like that, oh, fuck, it's so good."

He finished fast but kept Erwin inside of him, cock softening against his thigh as his hips rotated, pulling off teasingly and pushing back on less than a second later.

"You wanna come inside of me?" He asked breathlessly, hands roaming up and down Erwin's smooth chest and toned stomach, rolling his hips up and down. "Come on, fuck yes. I know you want to. Come on."

He went completely still as he felt something inside of him.

Almost like... warmth.

Immediately he pulled off and pushed a hand between his legs, feeling for wetness. He felt sticky lube and something very, very warm. One look at it showed him that it was not blood, but something white and watery.

Did Erwin... Could he have....?

Levi looked at the statue for a moment and shook his head. No, that was impossible, unless Levi had completely gone crazy already. He'd probably just liquidized the petroleum jelly from the rough friction of the marble against his inner walls. Certainly it wasn't what he imagined it to be.

He cleaned himself, then Erwin, and pressed a soft kiss to the statue's lips before climbing into bed and letting himself slip into a peaceful sleep.

 

Over the next few weeks, Levi grew closer to the statue in his bedroom. He felt safe sleeping with it by his bedside, and the sex with it was so good he was certain he'd never find anyone better.

He would ride Erwin a lot, though he secretly wished the statue was more versatile. He wanted to be fucked hard into his mattress, owned, dominated, though he wasn't complaining about his current situation. 

He'd also rub their cocks together, stand atop Erwin's lap and come all over his face, lick it off of him like it was icing. He would talk to Erwin, tell him about school, and on some nights when he was feeling particularly sentimental he would wrap a blanket around Erwin's shoulders and crawl into his lap, ignoring the cock nestled against him, resting his head upon the cold marble shoulder and letting the statue hold him.

It was only getting worse. He was completely screwed, and he found himself caring less and less that he was developing and had already developed strong feelings for a statue. It wasn't his fault. The statue was lovely, so handsome, and it took care of Levi's needs. He was thankful for it. He might even say he loved it were he not afraid to go so far.

In short, he was attached. Very, very attached. Which was why, when coming home one day to find the statue missing from his bedroom, one might say he panicked.

He looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. Terror clutched at his heart and stomach. Had his mother gotten rid of it? Oh, God, was Erwin out there somewhere without Levi? Thinking that he'd been abandoned? He called his mother nearly in tears, who was completely bewildered.

"Levi, I don't know what you're talking about." Levi could hear the truth in her voice. "We haven't done anything with the statue. it's in your bedroom."

Levi was about to protest when he heard a noise from across the house. He hung up quickly. This time, a different kind of fear took hold of him. Was there someone in the house? Was he being robbed?

He was close to calling 911, but then a realization struck him. If there was a robber, and Erwin was missing, then _they had stolen Erwin from him_. That was enough to make him go to the kitchen and grab a large cooking knife, following the sound through his living room though his body ached with terror.

The noises led him to his parents' bathroom. The shower was on, and if he peeked inside he could see a flash of skin. Someone was... taking a shower?

He stepped in, the steam making it difficult to see, holding the knife out with both hands.

"Whoever you are, give me back my statue and get the hell out! Now!" He jabbed the knife out as a silent threat.

The shower creaked off, and Levi shut his eyes, absolutely terrified. There was silence, and then a deep, unfamiliar voice.

"Levi."

Huh? How the hell did this creep know his name? He opened his eyes very slowly and saw- 

Erwin.

Erwin, it was Erwin, there was no doubt about it. The same hair combed perfectly, but this time it was blonde, not carved white. The same stern, strong features, skin flesh-colored and soft-looking. The same cock, hanging limp between his thighs.

Oh God. It was _Erwin_.

If he was dreaming, if he'd gone off the deep end, he didn't care.

He gaped at the man like an idiot for a good thirty seconds before dropping the knife onto the counter. Erwin just smiled at him, and oh, God, his teeth were perfect too.

"It's nice to finally speak with you. I've not been able to do so yet." 

Levi's heart was swelling until it felt as though it would burst. Erwin was so beautiful. He didn't know what to say.

Erwin gave him a knowing smile and stepped forward, once, twice, until his chest was inches from Levi. Levi couldn't even say he was mad that his nose barely reached the bottom of Erwin's ribs.

"How are you... How... You're not... How....?" His voice was squeaky, quiet, like he was going through puberty all over again. 

Erwin laughed and it came from deep in his chest.

"I'm not quite certain either. I've not been able to do this before. It's quite nice being able to stretch my legs."

Levi continued to gape at him, dumbfounded, until Erwin's naked body kickstarted him into action.

He marched a bemused Erwin into his parents' room and dressed him in his stepfather's clothing. Then he brought him to his room, and they both sat on his bed, completely quiet.

There was silence for a long time. Levi stared at Erwin, and Erwin stared back. 

"Do you not like me this way?" Erwin seemed genuinely concerned when he finally broke the quiet. "I can probably go back, if you'd prefer so. You have given me a home, after all."

Levi didn't know what to say. Was _that_ what Erwin thought?

Erwin's face fell and he looked down when Levi didn't respond. Unable to see those handsome features gleam with sadness, Levi launched himself at Erwin. He couldn't hold himself back anymore.

He was held in strong arms, and buried his face into the now-warm neck, holding onto him like an infant to its mother. Erwin held back just as tightly and Levi could have cried. This, this was what he wanted, this was what he'd been craving. Erwin holding him back, Erwin kissing the top of his head, Erwin warm and pliant and _alive_ under his fingertips.

They kissed for the first time that afternoon. Levi was inexperienced and it was suddenly painfully apparent in their difference in age. Erwin kissed like a man, the right amount of tongue and the perfect pressure on Levi's lips, whereas Levi was sloppy, puppyish, trying to taste as much of the man as he possibly could.

There was no sex, and they didn't speak of it. Erwin held Levi for a long, long time, so long that most people would have complained or wanted to get up. Levi just laid there, nestled into his chest, afraid to move or fall asleep lest this paradise disappear. 

He did fall asleep, though, unable to help himself in Erwin's warm embrace. He drifted off with strong arms holding him close.

When he woke it was dark and he was disoriented. His mother was calling him from the living room and he sat up straight, immediately panicking. Oh, _shit_ , what was he supposed to do about Erwin? He looked around frantically, spewing directions, when he realized he was alone on the bed.

His stepfather's clothing was folded up on the floor, and Erwin was a statue once more, sitting silently in the corner of Levi's room, like he'd never been anywhere else.


	3. Erwin's Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin returns. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm taking forty thousand years to update anything at all, I can only get work done when I'm procrastinating, and tomorrow is the first school day after break, and it's midnight, which means it's time for me to get some fucking writing done. Hallelujah.

Levi was mightily disappointed when Erwin was back to statue form. He _knew_ he hadn't imagined it, he wasn't that crazy, and his parents' shower had been wet and his stepfather's clothing was folded neatly on his bed. Alright, so, maybe one of the less likely explanations was that his mother's statue had come to life, but Levi loved that fucking statue, God damn it, and he had witnessed that glorious cock in the flesh instead of in stone.

That night, he didn't even have to wait until his parents were asleep, since the statue was still in his bedroom. He rubbed Erwin's cock for over an hour, sucked at the tip, licked down at his balls, teased him until he was absolutely certain Erwin would have to burst out of statue form and fuck him against the wall all night long.

He gave up eventually, though, when Erwin showed no sign of changing at all. Maybe he cried just a little, but hey, that wasn't anyone's business except for his own.

When he settled into bed at one in the morning after a long, fruitless search for 'how to make your statue come to life' on google (most of it was porn, to be honest, and guiltily he got a boner while browsing thumbnails, but he was too sad to jerk off so he just stared at it until it went away), he was certain he'd blown his chance and that gorgeous greek man would never come back to life.

He tossed and turned, maybe crying a little more, rubbing at his red nose and eyes until it hurt. 

"Come on, Erwin," he mumbled into his pillow pitifully when the clock hit 3:30 AM. "Come on. I want you back. Please." He was so pathetic that he only made himself sadder, and resigned to laying facedown in a silent tantrum on his bedsheets.

The bed dipped ten minutes later, and a warm arm settled over his waist. He didn't move until a pair of definitely-very-human lips pressed to his temple after thick fingers brushed his hair away from the spot. He turned his head, and there was Erwin, completely naked in all of his glory and wrapping himself around Levi like a god damned oversized cat.

"Don't cry," he said, and his voice was quiet as he touched Levi's wet cheeks. "I can't always come out when I want to. I tried earlier. You'll believe me, won't you?"

And Levi is so overcome, so stupidly in love that he just nodded and let himself be held. Didn't make a single move towards that enormous cock, which, for him, was an enormous accomplishment.

He falls asleep in Erwin's arms, both of his small, cold hands pressed to that sculpted chest and abdominal muscles, and slept better than he had in weeks.

He had to leave Erwin in his bed when he went to school, though his parents were already gone and he could try to skip, he really didn't want to get in trouble. He made Erwin promise to stay in his human form until Levi got home and the man agreed to try. Nonetheless it was extraordinarily difficult to force himself out the door with a gorgeous, tanned, muscled, completely naked man stretched out over his bed. It had pretty much been Levi's dream since he was 13 and discovered gay porn.

He rushed through school and made it home in record time. He ran, actually, and made the normally thirty-minute walk in twelve and a half. When he arrived home his hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat and he was panting, cheeks red.

And there Erwin was, bare ass on display as he munched on an apple in the kitchen. Levi dropped his backpack and the man turned around, giving him a smile and a wave. Levi just stared at him for a moment before running into his bathroom to shower.

He definitely didn't want Erwin to see him sweaty and gross, so he scrubbed down fast, and maybe gave his cock a few guilty strokes to the memory of that round ass on display like Erwin was purposely showing off. He decided he'd have a permanent boner when Erwin was around anyway, so left himself unfinished and pulled open the shower curtain to grab a towel. He stopped cold when he did so, gasping and covering his crotch.

There was Erwin, standing inside of the fucking bathroom with the door closed behind him, giving Levi the most charming smile he had ever seen and offering him a bite of his mother's motherfucking avocado sushi from the fridge, which Erwin was eating with his fingers from the package, putting two rolls in his mouth at a time.

Levi just stared at him for a second and his heart swelled. Erwin was so fucking dumb. God, he was in love with him.

He toweled off and guided Erwin back to the kitchen, salvaging what was left of his mom's sushi (he would get in trouble for that later) and instead reheated some fried chicken from the night before. He watched as Erwin tore into it like an animal, downing all eight pieces in under fifteen minutes. It was frightening how endearing Levi found Erwin ripping the meat apart with his teeth and licking the grease from his fingers.

When his hunger was satisfied Erwin gave Levi the sweetest 'thank you' and let himself be shepherded into some clothing. It was comical how he followed Levi around like an oversized puppy, watching his every move and trying to assist in every way he could. Really, every time Levi took a sip of the soda he'd opened Erwin patted his mouth with a napkin. 

They ended up back on Levi's bed, kissing once more. Levi only pulled away when a thought occurred to him.

"How old're you, Erwin?" He asked breathlessly, wiping at his lips. Erwin had looked like he was considering it for a moment.

"I am two thousand, two hundred and forty-two years old," he said after a while. Levi blinked. That wasn't so bad of an age difference, right?

"But I suppose my body is thirty-two." Erwin finished with, and Levi nodded. Somehow two thousand two hundred and forty-two seemed better than that.

It was only a sixteen year difference, that wasn't so bad. It really wasn't, he kept telling himself.

Instead of responding he just kissed Erwin again.

 

One thing led to another, and Levi climbed on top of Erwin, rubbing his hips down against him. He knew that cock very well by now, and licked his lips, imagining Erwin really being able to come inside of him, pin him down and fuck him like he wants it. 

He relayed that thought to Erwin, who looked surprised for a moment, and his expression changed but Levi didn't see it because he was flipped and pinned down to the bed by his arms. Erwin was fucking strong, very motherfucking strong, and when one of his knees pressed into Levi's lower back he couldn't move an inch.

He would have been frightened were it not for Erwin's lips by his ear, murmuring.

"Is this okay, Levi? What would you like me to do? Would you like me to fuck you this way?"

Levi made a sound like he was dying and Erwin took that as a yes, stripping Levi from the waist-down and doing the same to himself. Levi desperately wished he could catch a glimpse of that cock but he couldn't even turn his head. 

Alright, so maybe he'd used a finger or three in the shower, and Erwin was nothing less than delighted when he found Levi already slick and loosened. Levi was glad it was that way too, and gasped when the head of a cock nudged against his hole, his ass spread by one of Erwin's large hands. 

He would have been scared were it anyone else, but he'd been fucking himself on this cock for weeks now and he felt close to Erwin though he'd only been a human for a day and a half, really. He trusted Erwin.

The man slid into him in two short thrusts and Levi groaned out a sound that was probably embarrassing. He didn't care.

He must have mumbled something because Erwin began a hard, punishing pace that was everything and more that Levi needed, had so desperately craved for so many years. He let himself moan as loud as he wanted, didn't bite his lip or hold anything back, lost in a haze as his ass was pounded into oblivion.

He came first, obviously, Erwin's warm hand around his cock, soaking the bedsheets beneath himself. Erwin only thrusted two or three more times before releasing deep inside him, pushed in as far as he could go, and Levi's eyes nearly rolled back into his head.

Yes. Yes, this was what he had wanted all along. Erwin pulled out and turned him over and asked if he was alright and Levi didn't respond, giving him a breathless smile.

He fell asleep that night wrapped in Erwin's arms, tucked deep underneath his covers, and Christ, he didn't think he'd ever been so excited for the next day to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE YOUR COMMENTS BUT PLEASE STOP SAYING 'THIS IS GROSS BUT I LOVE IT' I APPRECIATE THAT YOU LIKE MY WORK BUT IT MAKES ME FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT WRITING IT AT ALL THANK U I LOVE U


	4. IIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filthy shameless porn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck me gently with a chainsaw
> 
>  
> 
> i am SIN

Levi found very quickly that this arrangement might just work.

Erwin usually only turned into a, well, human when his parents were out, which Levi decided was just incredible luck on his part. The few times Erwin had sat down beside him on his bed while both parents were home and active (which nearly gave Levi a heart attack considering he always wore headphones when he did his homework and Erwin didn't seem to understand that) Levi just put a bunch of clothing in the place the statue had been and thrown a blanket over it. It was a weak substitution, but on the off chance his mother or stepfather wanted to come into his room and Erwin had to hide in the bathroom, they never looked twice at it.

He missed Erwin when he was away at school. It seemed that all too often Erwin would pop out of statue-form right as he was leaving, and he really had to work on his self-control, because two out of five times he skipped school and stayed home. He got in a shit ton of trouble, too, which sucked, and was chewed out by his parents until he promised to stop skipping.

He still had sex with Erwin, in statue form and out of it, depending on when he was in the mood. Erwin was always ready to go, which was maybe the best fucking thing in the world, and he had endless stamina. He was generous, too, in the bedroom. He would lick Levi out for literal hours and never get bored. Levi was pretty sure he'd died and gone to heaven, or saved the world or something, anything that would bless him with a gift such as this beautiful man.

Oh, and when Levi said hours, he meant _hours_. He usually returned from school at four o'clock, since classes went until 3:30 and the walk home was thirty or so minutes, give or take a few depending on the weather. He showered when he returned home, and some days came into his bedroom in a towel to find Erwin sitting on his bed completely silent. 

Hellos were said, kisses were exchanged, hands roamed, and then Erwin would peel off Levi's towel and lay him down on the bed on his stomach. Levi would get his phone or a book or his homework (he preferred not to do the latter, because it had a Pavlov affect on his dick and he'd get a boner the next day when going over the questions in class), Erwin would lay behind him and pull his thighs apart and go to town.

It started off slow, and Levi would usually be able to listen to music or read his book while Erwin ate him out. When he got close to orgasm, though, he'd drop whatever he was doing and hold onto the sheets, grinding back against Erwin's face and down against the sheets. 

Erwin could usually lick two or three orgasms out of him in the time he had his face buried between Levi's legs. It was incredible, really, how much he seemed to enjoy it too. Levi would try to get up and suck him off or do something of the sort, but Erwin would just pull him back down again.

He rode Erwin's face for the first time, too, which was something he'd never thought he'd do in a million years. Erwin had actually brought up the idea.

Levi had gotten into a bad habit of watching porn with Erwin. He watched a lot of porn, even now. It was just something he liked to do, even if it wasn't erotic. So Erwin would lay on his bed, Levi would curl up against him, and he'd turn on some kind of pornography. If he got hard Erwin would just reach around and jack him off. Really, Levi was in heaven.

Getting back to the point, in one of the pornos they'd watch, a man rode another man's face. It certainly looked fun, but Levi was certain it couldn't be comfortable for either of them. Settling your entire weight onto someone's face didn't exactly seem like fun. Erwin, however, had thought otherwise.

He'd coerced Levi into it and ten minutes later he was laying on Levi's bed, his head on the pillows, and Levi was above his face, holding onto the headboard. Erwin had held his thighs up with incredible strength so his weight wouldn't possible crush Erwin's nose, and he'd honest-to-god ridden his tongue until he came (all over Erwin's hair). After that Levi couldn't get enough of it and he made sure it happened as often as possible.

The only time he'd really seen Erwin fall apart like he himself did so often was just once. He'd videotaped (riskily) himself having sex with Erwin the statue, and then had played it back for Erwin when he was back in human form. Erwin had barely taken three strokes of Levi's hand to finish and he'd made faces Levi wasn't aware he was capable of. Either way it was the hottest fucking thing he'd ever seen and he made a mental note to ask for a television in his room so that he could play the video full-screen while they fucked. He couldn't even imagine how hard Erwin would go if that happened.

Levi hadn't fucked anything before he met Erwin, obviously, as he'd been a total virgin. He'd said that once, and Erwin had immediately offered up his ass. Levi had blinked, shocked speechless. He'd never really considered it before; Erwin was a top if he'd ever seen one, and his ass was mouthwatering, yes, but never in a million years would he have pictured himself fucking him.

But he did. Erwin had laid over the side of his bed like some sort of offering and Levi had stood beside the bed between his legs. He'd prepped himself, as Levi knew his fingers were thicker, and then Levi had pushed in.

It took a pathetically short time for him to finish. Less than fifteen thrusts, he'd say, but his ego wasn't bruised too badly, because Erwin had finished too, amazingly enough. _Jesus Christ, this man really was perfect_ , he'd thought to himself, and when he watched his come dribble out of Erwin a minute later (the man had gladly spread his thighs so Levi could see) he'd thought it again and again and again.

In the long run, he preferred bottoming. There just wasn't anything like it. He only fucked Erwin maybe three times, and the rest was the man's glorious cock pounding him into the mattress. 

 

There was one time in which he managed to sneak Erwin out of the house. Half of him was afraid Erwin would evaporate or turn to a statue or some shit outside in public, but Erwin assured him he would not, so he trusted him. He brought him to the movie theater, and they watched a movie together. Erwin was mightily confused at the cars and all the noise and buildings, so Levi spent the night after they got home bringing him up to date on what the world was like now. He understood pretty easily, which was more than Levi had expected from him.

It had been nice. The movies was almost like a date. They shared a popcorn, they held hands, Erwin had kissed him. It almost felt normal for a while. He wished that they could have this all the time, that Erwin was full human (though he certainly didn't mind him as a statue) and that they could date without being judged or ostracized for their difference in age. They did get a few dirty looks, but Levi was pretty sure it was because they were two males holding hands rather then their visible age difference, and Erwin was too stupidly, constantly happy to notice.

He devised a plan. He would modernize Erwin the best he could. He had no idea how the fuck he would get the man an ID considering there was literally no record of his existence anywhere in the world, but he would do his best. He began saving up for a cell phone, one he could give Erwin so they could keep in communication once he was gone. He wanted Erwin to live his human life as a human. He was frightened, to be completely honest, that Erwin would get bored of just staying in his house with Levi all the time and wander. In the back of his mind a voice was whispering that college was approaching closer and closer as his junior year of high school drew to a close, but he refused to worry, instead focusing on how good things were now. 

No matter what happened, he knew Erwin would always be here. And maybe, just maybe, he was sort of falling in love with a statue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iii llllooooooveeee dooorkky erwiiiinnn


	5. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Erwin go on a date. Things happen. Plot progresses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me 24325 years to update, thank you to everyone who reads this :) <3  
> 

Eventually, a few weeks or so after the excursion to the movies, Erwin asked to take Levi on another date. Levi had made the mistake of leaving him home alone with his netflix account logged in on his computer in an attempt to help Erwin assimilate into modern culture through the means of movies and television shows.

That was a bad idea, because when he returned home, he was bombarded with questions about why they didn't go out to eat (or as Erwin put it, walk around the world holding hands, which was dumb and very endearing) or go on dates. Levi honestly didn't know how to answer that. He'd not considered bringing his illicit thirty-year-old Greek boyfriend outside very often, as the movie-date was a one time thing, but Erwin looked so confused that he decided it was time to start up a new routine.

He stole more of his stepfather's clothing for Erwin, because as much as he loved the man sitting in his bed in the nude all the time, it probably wasn't in the public's best interest. He looked up things to do, and Erwin peeked over his shoulder and pointed things out.

"What about this?" He asked, one large finger bopping into Levi's computer screen. It was an amusement park he had pointed at, or more specifically, two scared-shitless teenagers on a roller coaster.

"Uh, no." Levi shook his head. "I'm scared of heights."

Erwin nodded and they kept looking. A minute later a hand closed on his wrist as he was scrolling and he stopped.

"What is it?"

Erwin touched the screen again, leaving a little smeared fingerprint. Levi wiped it off with his shirt.

"What is this word?" He asked. The word in question was 'barbecue' and Levi was slow to respond.

"It's like... lots of meat. Put on a grill, mostly. It's nice." Levi supposed Erwin wouldn't have had that where he came from. He sat back against him further, laying his head on Erwin's broad shoulder. He and his friends sometimes got barbecue at a restaurant a few blocks away, a nice one with good food. That could be fun.

"That sounds enjoyable," Erwin said after a moment, and Levi gave him a little smile, turning his head to the left and up so Erwin could see his expression, 

"Uh huh. We can go tomorrow if you want to," he offered, and Erwin's face screwed up. He looked like he was contemplating it.

"Alright." He finally said. "I would like to get barbecue with you tomorrow."

Levi nodded, smiled, and turned his head to nestle into the crook of Erwin's neck. He felt the man's hands move to either side of his waist and a mouth trailed hot down his jawline.

Date ideas could certainly wait until later, Levi thought, as Erwin pressed him down against the sheets.

 

The next day Levi dressed Erwin, combed his hair, found him some shoes, and led him out of the apartment quietly as soon as his parents had gone to work. Thankfully it was a Saturday and he didn't have school. They walked down the street, the cold wind forcing them to huddle close together, hands tightly intertwined between them as they walked. Levi was nervous though he had no reason to be, certain that someone would notice that Erwin was a goddamned statu"e half the time though that was impossible. 

It only took them ten or fifteen minutes to get to the restaurant. Levi asked for a table, and Erwin stayed silent. Levi could feel eyes, not on him, but on his date and his lover, who was inarguably the most divine specimen on the planet. At least to Levi, he was.

They sat at a booth on the same side and Levi explained the menu items to him, unable to stop himself from laughing at Erwin's ridiculous questions. Erwin seemed to be picking up on Levi's sense of humor as well, and made a few jokes that had the younger boy pressing his face into Erwin's sweater to stop from bothering the whole restaurant with his laughter.

It was the best day of his life so far, Levi might say. They ate and he fed Erwin and Erwin did it back, then wiped his face. They joked and laughed and exchanged tiny kisses when nobody was looking. Erwin was really, really starting to feel like a boyfriend, and Levi couldn't be happier.

That is, of course, until they were on their way home and Levi decided to take Erwin to the bakery he sometimes stopped in with his friends to get him dessert.

He was sharing a strawberry tart with the man at a small table at the front of the store, laughing at the redness that stuck to the corners of his mouths, when a voice interrupted them.

"Levi?"

Levi stiffened. He knew that voice. One of his friends from school, someone he'd not hung out with (like the rest of his friends) in weeks, or at least since he'd discovered Erwin's human form, was standing right behind said human.

Erwin looked startled, turning around to see Levi's friend. It was a boy with white-blonde hair, obviously bleached, and very flamboyantly gay, his hands tucked into the pockets of his skinny jeans. The way he looked at Erwin upon first sight made his blood boil, and even more so when the boy crossed the table and rested his hands on his shoulders. 

"Why don't you introduce me to your friend? Hey, the rest of us are here." He called over to the other side of the bakery and then three other boys streamed out, all just as obviously ogling Erwin as the first one. Levi scowled at both that and the way the blonde, Ryan, was touching him, ignoring Erwin's worried look to hide his embarrassment.

They badgered Levi loudly until he gave in.

"This is Erwin," he muttered, looking anywhere but at Erwin or the boys behind himself. 

"Hi, Erwin," Ryan said in a sickly sweet voice, his hands roaming down Levi's chest. Levi pushed at them.

"Don't touch me."

The boy ignored him, continuing to speak to Erwin.

"Me and Levi are _such_ good friends, you know-"

"Don't fucking touch me. Let go."

"-and we have been for so long, you know, we're inseparable, has he told you about me? He's-"

"Don't touch him!"

Erwin's loud voice echoed through the bakery and everyone froze in shock, even the woman behind the counter making little truffles and rolling them in cocoa powder. Levi looked up, startled, and the hands retracted from his chest.

Erwin stood, reaching for Levi's hand. Levi was honestly a little afraid. He'd never seen Erwin angry, and this was full-on rage. His face was contorted into a furious mask and he was puffing out his chest, looking even larger than usual. Levi felt the presences behind him slink away, and when he reached up and tentatively took Erwin's hand, the man's grip was incredibly gentle.

He stood, and a hand settled onto the small of his back, guiding him out of the store quickly and quietly. Levi was completely bewildered, and looked over at Erwin, their hands entwining between them once again.

"You okay?"

Erwin looked over, and the anger was gone from his face, but he pulled away from Levi's hand and wrapped his arm around the boy's waist, keeping him close to his side.

"You asked them to stop touching you. Sorry for yelling."

Jesus, Levi was in love.

"Don't apologize. Thanks, Erwin. Means a lot."

The pleased look Erwin gave him was worth probably being banned from that bakery from now on a thousand times over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love y'all !!


	6. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi gets some sex toys. Oh jeez.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello motherfuckers
> 
> I'm BACK
> 
>  
> 
> and i bring with me more porn in the new year god bless i love all of you mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah
> 
> In the words of Drew Monson, leave me a fucking comment, i'm very lonely
> 
> FYI pleasure chest is a real sex store and it is by my house and i went to it for research for this fic and it was so embarrassing i cry 
> 
>  
> 
> SOMEONE PLS MAKE FANART OF STATUE ERWIN I PROMISE ILL JACK OFF 2 IT

Levi had always been adventurous. Even before he had made his mother's Greek statue into his boyfriend, he'd never been afraid of any challenge. And things definitely hadn't changed now.

He took Erwin on a multitude of dates over the next couple of weeks. Any time his parents weren't home and he was free to do as he pleased he tugged Erwin out of the house, brought him down the street to the park or to the lake or anywhere that he could go without a car, because let's face it, his allowance was meager and did not allow for cabs and he didn't exactly have a driver's license or a car to drive at all.

One day, while walking home from school and casually scouting out places to take Erwin to next, he stumbled across a shop he'd not seen before. This one was called 'Pleasure Chest' and just the name made him grin. If this store was what he thought it was, maybe it wasn't a date location for Erwin, but a place to buy both himself and his sex god of a boyfriend some presents. He'd never exactly used a sex toy, but he knew that Erwin was becoming curious about self-pleasure and wanted to help him out with it. He didn't know if Erwin had been alive at one point, or if he'd always been a statue, but he was afraid to ask lest it trigger some unwelcome memories on Erwin's part.

He went in, knowing that Erwin would wonder where he was but deciding that coming home with something like what he was planning on getting would be worth it. One peek inside told him that the clerk was a man in his early twenties, looking bored and like he'd literally rather be anywhere else. Levi took a moment to quietly celebrate. This was the kind of man who would pretend to believe him if he said he'd left his ID at home.

He went into the store, and was glad it was empty, though he wasn't exactly ashamed to be buying such things. It would just be nice to have some privacy. He browsed the isles slowly, and it didn't take long to realize that this was exactly the sort of store he'd thought it was. Sex toys galore lined the aisles, as well as costumes, lube of all colors and flavors, and a colorful arrangement of condoms in the front of the store. He didn't bother with any of those. Maybe it wasn't safe to not be using condoms with Erwin, but he was a dumb teen and didn't want to use them.

He checked his wallet, and decided that his lunch money for the rest of the month would have to do. He would just pack a lunch the night before when his parents were already asleep, or not eat, either way. 

He grabbed lube in a couple of different flavors. The concept of ass-to-mouth didn't exactly sound fantastic, but if Erwin wanted it he'd do it, and a sweet cherry flavor might make things a little easier.

Next he perused the fleshlight section. He thought one of those might be good for Erwin, but all of them looked scary, and he couldn't imagine having to clean one out afterward. So he left that aisle and instead found himself standing in front of a large shelf full of vibrators.

He couldn't help himself, really. The idea of a vibrator to hold on his cock while Erwin fucked him was too good to pass up, so he grabbed one of the dildo-shaped ones, a little less phallic than the actual dildos, and headed down the aisle.

On his way he grabbed a kit that he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from as he walked past it. It was a sounding kit, with little vibrating rods that apparently you slipped down your urethra. Kinky fucker that Levi was certain Erwin was inside, he was pretty sure he'd like that. Maybe not, but hey, he could always use them as mini vibrators, or something like that. Maybe a massager. Or he could throw them away, either way.

 

He returned home two hours later and when he arrived home it was silent. 

"Erwin!" He called out, but there was no response. Frowning, he looked around, setting his backpack down on the ground and hiking the inconspicuous bag with the sex toys higher up in his arms. "Erwin?"

There was a cluttering noise, and then a familiar blonde head peeked out of the kitchen, nearly giving Levi a heart attack.

"Jesus! What the fuck are you doing?" He set the bag on the coffee table and stepped into the kitchen, immediately breaking out in a smile, then a laugh. He'd forgotten that he was Erwin's main source of nutrients, fixing him large meals in the morning and when he returned in the afternoon, being sure to leave snacks for the middle of the day. A little bit of guilt tugged at him for leaving Erwin to fend for himself for an extra hour, but evidently the man was more capable of taking care of himself than he thought.

He'd made himself a meal, a very mismatched one, of just about everything in Levi's fridge. Levi vaguely wondered how all of that sculpted muscle stayed in its place when Erwin ate so much and never worked out, but he'd learned long ago not to question anything about Erwin. Just to accept it.

On his plate was leftover roasted chicken, two cupcakes that Kuchel had brought home after a party at work, various fruits including a banana cut up with the peel still on it, two of the sandwiches Levi had put in the fridge for Erwin to eat when he was hungry, a little container of applesauce, and a bowl of soup.

"Oh, my god." Levi stepped forward. Erwin blinked at him, like he was unsure of how to react. 

"Are you upset?"

Levi shook his head. His smile was so wide that it hurt. 

"No." He stepped forward, and wrapped his arms around Erwin. Erwin was still for a moment, then hugged him back. Levi could practically hear his confusion.

"Levi....?"

"Shut up, you big oaf. Come on, bring that food to my room. I have a present for you."

 

The look on Erwin's face when Levi unveiled the toys was not what he'd expected. Of course, Levi had to remind himself, feeling like an idiot, Erwin would have no idea what sex toys were. This was almost a better scenario.

He had Erwin strip down, who looked mightily confused, told him to close his eyes, then turned the vibrator on and pressed it right against his cock. Erwin had yelped, jerked like he'd been electrocuted, and then opened his eyes and stared at Levi with absolute shock. It had not been the original intended purpose of the vibrator, but Levi worked him to two orgasms with it just against his cock and balls until the man was so exhausted he could barely finish his food. Levi was more than pleased.

After that, Levi would more often than not come home from school and find Erwin peacefully napping or reading or just resting on his bed, the impeccably-washed vibrator in his bathroom sink. He wished he had been there to watch whatever Erwin was doing, but was thrilled that he was taking such initiative. 

His parents bugged him a lot. He didn't go out anymore with his friends, because he had someone more important to occupy his time. In fact, he barely ever left his bedroom when his parents were home, and his parents told him many times that they wanted him to be social, but Levi refused each and every time. His feelings for Erwin were getting increasingly stronger and though it frightened him, cutting it off would be impossible and too painful to even think about. For now, he was happy, and didn't plan on stopping whatever this was any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I _KNOW_ THAT THE ROMAN NUMERAL FOR FOUR IS NOT IIII. IF YOU CORRECT ME FROM NOW ON I WILL DELETE YOUR COMMENT, IF SOMEONE HAS ALREADY CORRECTED ME IN THE COMMENTS YOU DON'T NEED TO RECORRECT ME, IM NOT CHANGING IT, I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR THIS RIGHT NOW


	7. XXX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College is approaching. Erwin does not understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been four months. I have no excuse. I am genuinely so sorry. Writing is hard and I can't do it very much anymore. 
> 
> but like... hey wassup

As time went by Levi was beginning to become aware of the timing of their situation. He was in his junior year of high school, which meant he had one year left, and then... college.

He could not imagine leaving Erwin, not even for school, and he very much doubted that he would be allowed to take a huge explicit statue with him. The thought of having to leave him behind was terrifying, not only because of how lonely Levi would be, but because he was frightened above all that Erwin would be lonely too, or feel abandoned. It upset him enough that he tried his best not to think about it, not ever, even when he was taking his ACT and SAT and starting to find colleges to apply to.

He knew eventually he had to explain to Erwin what was going on. He'd spent many hours looking up colleges that offered independent living and ushering Erwin away from his computer when the man tried to look over his shoulder to see what he was doing. Of course each time he'd had to kiss away the pout. For a grown man Erwin was terribly endearing sometimes.

"Erwin," he said one night when everyone but the two of them were asleep and he was cradled in the man's arms in his bed. It seemed that as time went on Erwin's ability to turn back and forth was increasing, or at the very least he was human more often, whether it was a conscious decision or not.

"Yes?" Erwin said. He was busy playing with a strand of Levi's hair, rolling it between his fingers. Such things fascinated him; apparently where he was originally from nobody had such dark hair with such pale skin. If Levi could count the number of times Erwin had likened him to a goddess he'd probably create a new number.

"I have something I need to tell you," Levi mumbled. He had both arms wrapped around one of Erwin's biceps and he studied the skin there. His tan seemed everlasting. They were such different colors that it was almost ridiculous.

"Go ahead," Erwin said, pressing his mouth to Levi's hair. 

"I'm... Uh. After I finish high school, which is in a year," he started, rubbing Erwin's arm gently up and down. "I go to college. That's.. four years away from home, at a school. I'll live at the school. And I don't, um. I don't think I'll be able to take you with me."

There was silence for a long moment until Erwin finally spoke, his voice laced with confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I might have to leave you." He didn't even think about what would happen after college. He doubted his mom would let him keep the statue when he moved into his own place and he couldn't exactly move back home at twenty-two or twenty-three. Oh, fuck. "I don't know for how long. Maybe... forever. But I'll visit." He felt a little sick to his stomach at the thought.

Erwin was silent again, as if contemplating this reality. Levi would have been afraid he'd get mad if the blonde wasn't the kindest, most gentle person he knew.

"....Why?"

"I have to. It's the law." That was a lie but it was easier than explaining. "I'll do everything I can but I really can't promise anything, Erwin. I'm so sorry." 

"But I don't want you to leave." He traced a line up Levi's spine. "I don't want you to go."

"I know you don't, Erwin. I don't want to go either. You don't understand, I don't have a choice."

"You could just not go," Erwin suggested. "How does that sound?"

"Erwin.." Levi sighed, but didn't respond. He didn't know what to say. He could sneak Erwin out, but.. who knew when he'd turn into a statue? On a plane? In the street? In Levi's car? It was just too risky. Plus his mother would call the police if Erwin had been stolen and it would be terrifying to have police at his house snooping around. 

He turned around in Erwin's arms and kissed him. He didn't want to think about the inevitability of leaving Erwin all alone. He was Erwin's entire life, he knew. He was his only social outlet, his only friend, his lover, because technically Erwin didn't even exist, and it wasn't like he could get a job or go outside with his condition. Although the thought of working and coming home to Erwin cooking dinner every night was a pleasant one he knew it wasn't realistic. This wasn't healthy for either of them. Erwin deserved a better life than being stuck in an apartment all day every day.

"I'll figure something out," he said. "I promise." 

He could never introduce Erwin to his parents because they'd recognize him. He could never publicly date him. He could never marry him or start a family with him. The thought that they had absolutely no future with each other that didn't involve locking themselves away was horrifying. Maybe Erwin would have been better off if he'd stayed a statue.

No, that wasn't right. He liked Erwin, maybe even loved him. Definitely loved him. And he knew Erwin loved him too. God, there were so many things to worry about. Would Erwin, if introduced to society, find someone better? Would he stray and cheat? Would he become bored of Levi and wander off? Levi buried his insecurities in Erwin's mouth. Erwin seemed concerned but did not say another word on the subject, just kept holding him. Levi was grateful. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Within another month, in which the college situation was not mentioned again, Levi had formed a plan. He'd contacted someone through a friend at school who knew someone who knew someone whose cousin made fake IDs and documents. Levi had forked over four hundred dollars for a birth certificate, social security number, ID, and driver's license for Erwin (though the last one was just for convenience; he didn't plan on letting Erwin drive anytime soon). It had been quite interesting trying to get pictures of Erwin for such things. He would smile too much, or look confused by the camera flash in such a way that Levi could not resist putting the camera down and kissing him. It took an hour to get pictures but he sent them out and a week later he had all of the documents.

He spread them out on his bedroom and checked every detail meticulously side-by-side with his own, making sure there was not a single flaw. He was not disappointed and proudly handed Erwin his ID.

"This is very special," he said. "Very, very special. So I'm going to put it in here." He had an old lockbox he used to keep his pokemon cards in and put all of the documents into a plastic bag, sealing it and locking them inside. The key was placed inside his piggy bank. 

Erwin seemed pleased even if he didn't really understand what was going on. To Levi, this was momentous. Erwin now technically existed and anything was possible. He could get a job, maybe, even if he had no education or work experience, and he'd be able to go outside, take the train, rent a hotel room, live in a house. Get married, adopt kids. It was incredible and Levi was incredibly proud of himself.

Levi took Erwin out a few times in an attempt to accustom him with normal society. Restaurants, public transport, zoos, beaches. Well, not beaches. They'd tried once and Erwin had tried to peel Levi's swim shorts off of him and fuck him right there on the sand. Levi had had to explain that that was not appropriate and then they'd gone home so Erwin could finish what he'd started.

Everything was going well. Levi tried not to worry about his college situation. After all, he had a full year. Pretty soon he'd be on summer vacation and every day would be dedicated to Erwin, Erwin, Erwin. Though he already did that anyway.

They had a lot of sex. Lots and lots. Sometimes Levi felt guilty for having sex with Erwin at his age when the man was technically too old to be doing such a thing with him, but.. apparently those laws didn't exist in Erwin's time and it's not like anyone could prove that they were doing anything illegal. As the weather got warmer Kuchel began going out more on trips to Africa and Thailand and lots of exotic places to look at artifacts and try to uncover others. Levi's stepfather had work all day, every day, except for Sundays, which he spent in the basement with his friends watching baseball. Little did he know his son was getting plowed by a man not too far from his age just upstairs. 

Levi was learning how to do all sorts of new things. He was more flexible now, a lot more flexible, and Erwin very much enjoyed bending him into uncomfortable positions. Like bending him nearly in half so Levi could practically watch himself getting fucked. Levi himself had no idea how Erwin was so gentle and vanilla any other time but an absolute monster in bed. Not that he was complaining.

He didn't know what would happen. He really didn't. But he'd be damned if he'd let anyone take Erwin from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty please leave a comment i would like it a lot
> 
> If you want, tell me what you think will happen/what you want to happen :) <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY MOLY.... can't believe I waited so long to update. Many apologies to those of you I kept waiting! I have no excuse, honestly, all I do is lay in bed all day on my computer so I don't really know why I didn't update this. Ahhhh! Hope I didn't lose my whole audience!!!!

Senior year approached quickly. Levi managed to score a 30 on the ACT and kept his grades at a meager 3.5 average GPA and was confident he'd get into at least an alright college. Higher education didn't really matter much to him, anyway; he was much more focused on what his life would be afterward.  
Erwin was becoming more confident with going out of the house. Sometimes he even left without Levi and went for strolls, returning with flowers or pastries or anything else that caught his eye. Levi once found himself with a drawer full of hot dog shaped erasers because Erwin had thought they were cute.  
It was easier, too, to sneak past his parents. He was almost eighteen- the thought that he'd known Erwin for almost two years had him reeling- and so they left him alone for the most part. Sometimes he lied about going to see friends for the night and slept in a hotel with Erwin because it made him feel grown up to fuck on sheets that didn't belong to him.

He didn't really have friends anymore, honestly. And it didn't much bother him. Levi had always been a solitary person and Erwin was more than enough company. He was incredibly fun to be around and the difference in his personality from when he'd first turned human to now was enormous. He was obviously a lot more comfortable with Levi and with his surroundings after reading book after book about the events that had taken place since he was alive. Levi certainly was curious as to how Erwin had become a statue in the first place but it didn't seem so important.

He'd gotten Erwin to go out with his new ID and buy them some alcohol, nothing strong, just some pretty pink wine stuff. Of course Erwin was used to strong alcohol from back in his day and so he'd gone back out and bought tequila for them. Levi didn't want to get drunk, just taste, and the stuff was awful so he had no more than a little sip out of one of his dad's shot glasses. Erwin, however, managed to drink half of the bottle. Granted, it was a small bottle, but still. He was awfully cute when he was drunk and Levi only had to put cat videos on his computer to keep Erwin completely entertained until he sobered up.

Levi decided he liked risky situations when it came to sex. It was incredible to have regular sex with someone, to come home and know Erwin was waiting in bed for him, but sometimes he wanted a thrill. Such thrills included going shopping and fucking in the dressing rooms. That was Levi's favorite so far. Erwin held him up against the stall and had to either go very fast or very slowly to avoid getting caught for the way he was making the stall door shake.

Bathrooms, too, were fun. Levi wasn't gross enough to do it in a pool where there might be kids but it was indeed a fantasy of his to do it so publicly. One time they did it in a park under a blanket, pretending to just be cuddling, and Levi came so hard he practically had a heart attack. Erwin, surprisingly enough, had kept a poker face the whole time. Levi didn't think there was anyone more perfect for him in the entire world.

During the second semester of senior year, Levi was accepted into two colleges out of the five he'd applied to. The only problem was that they were both all the way across the country. He cried when he got the letters but hid them from Erwin because he had no idea how to explain. He hid it for days until he burst into tears one night when Erwin was making love to him and then he had no choice but to explain.

"Erwin," he said, wiping at his red eyes and nose self-consciously. The man did not have the usual smile on his face but instead his brows were knitted and he was frowning down at Levi, obviously concerned. "I got accepted into college."

"That is... a good thing," Erwin said slowly, as if trying to ensure his words were correct. "Is it not?"

"No, it is, but... it's... I mean, the colleges are all the way in Florida." 

"Is that far?"

"Yeah."

"What will we do?"

"I don't know," Levi said, and burst right back into tears. Erwin offered lots of suggestions, like taking him with him or convincing his parents to move, but none of them were realistic. Levi was confronted with the harsh reality that he would have to leave the man he'd spent every day with for the past two years and it hurt too much to bear. He just hoped Erwin wasn't hurting so badly too.

The second half of senior year passed and Levi turned eighteen. He celebrated with his family and came home that night to spend the rest of his birthday with Erwin. He tried to have sex with him but in the end he was too upset to get into it and Erwin just laid there and held him. He was frightened for Erwin, frightened that he wold be lonely or not get enough food or not be able to shower or have to stay as a statue all the time. 

Summer was, in a word, miserable. Every time he saw Erwin's face he was reminded that he'd have to leave him. Part of him told him that Erwin was a grown man, he could take care of himself, but... Levi was not so convinced, not when Erwin was staying in a house with people who technically didn't know he was there. Missing food could no longer be blamed on Levi, nor could showers that didn't involve either of his parents. Erwin couldn't even sleep in his bed because it would muss it up. Levi got a part time job and started saving up, not to bring money to college but to leave some for Erwin.

And then, all too soon, the night arrived. The night before he'd have to leave for college. Levi cried a lot and Erwin rested his head in his neck and cradled him like he was a baby. This seemed like some horrible nightmare, or like a terrible joke. There had to be a way out of it. This couldn't be their only option.

But, alas, it was. Levi stayed up all night and talked to Erwin, told him things like 'you'll be okay' and 'we'll talk' but at least half of that was a lie. He couldn't exactly write to Erwin nor did the man have a phone, because Levi couldn't afford a brand new phone with its own separate data plan.

"I don't want to go."

"You'll be okay," Erwin said, and one of his fingers touched the space underneath Levi's swollen eyes. "I know how to use the computers in the library. I'll email you."

That was a little reassuring at least but the thought of Erwin all by himself painstakingly typing out a letter on a computer he barely knew how to use just to talk to Levi sent him into hysterics all over again. Erwin was troublingly silent for the most part and Levi was terrified that the man was blaming him for this, or that he resented him because of it.

He had to get up at six in the morning and Erwin practically had to force him out of the bed. He only became more hysterical when the sun began to rise and clung to Erwin desperately, deciding he'd stay and that college could go fuck itself. Obviously that was not a viable option and as a last resort, Erwin climbed out of the bed and turned back to cold stone.

Levi curled up in the statue's arms and kept crying, begging Erwin to come back and to let him stay and not make him do this. That was how his mom found him after waiting for a half hour in the car for Levi to show up for the drive and told him for the millionth time that he could not bring the statue to college with him, no matter how much he begged. Levi would have been surprised- if he could feel anything but grief, that is- that his mother wasn't more concerned about his hysterics over a statue but she chalked it down to the panic of leaving home.

Levi kept crying and crying as he was pulled from his room and put in his car. He wasn't even embarrassed to cry in front of his parents like he usually would have been. His entire chest physically hurt like he was ripping in two and the tears wouldn't stop. He'd not even gotten a kiss goodbye. He looked out the back window of the car and sobbed hysterically for the first hour of the trip until he was too exhausted to continue, then lay in the backseat and stared up at the roof. He was already wondering about Erwin. Was he hungry? Was he lonely? Was he afraid to be without Levi? Levi realized with an enormous surge of grief that he'd not told the man his email address, nor had he made an account for Erwin at all. He started crying again after that because apparently there was no such thing as being too exhausted to cry when your heart was breaking.  
When he got to college he silently helped his parents move his things into his dorm, face shiny with drying tears. He made no move to introduce himself to his roommate and just laid in his bed, curled up to try and combat how empty it felt without Erwin in it. He felt scared, and small, and for the first time in two years he felt very, very alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legit cried while writing this maybe i'm just an emotional sap anyway hope y'all liked it mwah mwah kisses for u all mwah mwah mwah heres 3 more kisses cos i love ya

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed.


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